


Next time

by Bananas45



Category: B: The Beginning (Anime)
Genre: Cheating, Guilt, Hand Jobs, M/M, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:36:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananas45/pseuds/Bananas45
Summary: To say Koku wasn’t coping would be understatement.





	Next time

**Author's Note:**

> Had to write this very quickly and very quietly in the dead of night and then edit it in a room full of people claiming it was a presentation so it's very, very messy...  
> I'm just pleased no one asked to see my presentation. 
> 
> Worth it cos I love this shit.

Convincing Koku not to kill anymore is the hardest thing the two of them do. It takes time and a lot of holding Koku’s wrists to make him see that there is nothing stopping Keith from turning him in (similarly though, they’re both aware if Koku didn’t want to be turned in he wouldn’t be) so they decide on an equilibrium of helping each other out. Koku becomes a boy who makes violins and Keith becomes the ace detective who with a brother who makes violins.   
He sort of understands how quickly Koku becomes stir crazy.  
But it’s tough. Living together is tougher and with Yuna’s constant presence and Lily’s mildly annoying intervening Keith has yet to actually talk with Koku about well...everything.   
To say Koku wasn’t coping would be understatement. In the weeks that follow Gilbert's death, reggies crawl out from the cracks to make the RIS’ lives a nightmare and Koku has to sit back and watch.   
“This could take me one night”   
“And it could break a whole lot of laws”   
“People are dying-”   
“Don’t fight me on this, Koku” 

Koku plays violin very loud and very fast in Keith’s living room till the morning light shines through the curtains as some form of punishment for being kept at home like a dog.   
It’s for his own good though.   
The tension builds between them, a desperation for an outlet of feelings they both have with no way to address because Lily should, can and will be everything in Keith’s life and Yuna makes Koku smile like no one else can.   
Except Keith.   
Maybe he’s scared a little too, maybe he’s scared he’ll get too close to whatever Gilbert wanted him to become if he gets involved with Koku.   
Yeah, maybe he’s just a coward. 

They have dinner, him and Koku, Yuna and Lily and even though they’re not dating it feels a lot like a double date. He’s watching Koku watch him as Lily retells a story about something he did a work.   
“And then he says-”   
“This is massively over exaggerated, it did not occur like this-”   
Koku chuckles but he’s got that worrying glazed look in his eye that makes Keith stop trying to defend himself and instead focus closer.   
‘And another in a series of violent attack and vicious attacks involving young woman-’   
It’s the radio, he can practically see Koku’s ears twitch to listen better and Keith watches too.   
‘Still the RIS has come up with no leads and no explanations as to the whereabouts or identities-’   
Keith watches the fork bend in Koku’s right hand as his eyes meet Keith’s.   
‘Horribly mutilated-’  
He can almost feel the thrum of tension through Koku, the frantic air to his being as he looks at Keith, eyes glued to his as the grip on his fork tightens.   
“We should go, Koku!” Yuna touches his shoulder and Koku barely manages not to lash out, he jumps though, blinking like he was asleep.   
“Huh?”   
“Oh my god” Lily puts her head in her hands. “You two are as bad as each other! Were you listening?”   
Would Koku really want to go back to killing? Could someone like Koku, sweet and young and pretty really need that sort of violence to feel fulfilled?   
He thinks of the gun in his hand, of the way Gilbert crumpled to the ground in a second, thinks of the instant relief he felt-   
“Keith!”   
He blinks.   
“Huh?”   
“I give up” Lily mutters. Yuna leans forward, smiling.   
“It’s just meant to be a nice sunset tonight, I was thinking we could all go to the beach”   
Lily’s already up and getting her jacket. “We’ll miss it otherwise!”   
Koku stands. “I’ll tidy the place and catch you three up”   
Keith comes to for that.   
“I can help” Keith says.   
“Can you?” Koku says, a coldness to his voice that makes Keith almost shudder.  
Yuna and Lily stop by the door.   
“It’s more than a one man job.” Keith says.   
“I really don’t think it is” Koku collects the dishes. “In Fact I think it would be so much easier if you just let me handle things”   
“Sadly it’s not as easy as that, Koku” Keith comes closer, takes the bundle of plates out Koku’s hands. “That’s not how real life works”   
“Yeah and besides, Keith’s hot water never works” Lily pipes up.   
“If I wash and you dry” Keith says easily and Koku loses track of the analogy. “We’ll get this done in half the time”   
“Fine” Koku murmurs. The door clicks shut and the two of them are alone.   
“You know we aren’t talking about dishes”   
Keith pushes up his glasses.   
“I am”   
Koku grits his teeth and looks down.   
“How long are we going to do this?”   
“Do what?”   
Keith runs the water.   
“I’m useful-”   
“You’re dangerous” Keith says softly. Koku steps back, shocked for moment before his face sets.   
The glass in Koku’s hand smashes, the grip so tight it explodes between his fingers.   
“I’m not dangerous”   
Keith looks him over slowly. The observe each other in perfect stillness for a moment.   
“I’m going to stop this” Koku makes his way towards the window and Keith grabs his wrist.   
It’s such an electric shock of a touch that Keith almost lets go. Koku whirls around, looking at the grip and then at Keith with a wild look in his eye.   
“Koku. Think” Keith snaps and it crackles through the normal calm of their relationship like a whip. “Think for a moment what you’ll do to Yuna, to Lily-”   
“Only if you tell the-”   
“I will” Keith says. “I will Koku”   
Koku pulls, sharp and hard and it almost sends Keith sprawling. Fucks sake he’s so strong.  
“Why are you like this?” Koku seethes. “Why was everything so much easier when it was harder”   
“Because in times of war you don’t have time to consider morality-”   
“You think they consider morality?” Koku laughs, sharp and acrid.   
“I think we should give them the chance to”   
Keith moves in front of the window.   
“I won't let you go”   
Koku does look shocked before he tilts his head. “You think you can stop me?” It’s almost contemplative, like it’s an idea Koku himself had never considered.   
“Probably not” Keith shrugs.   
Koku looks guilty for a moment and then he’s behind Keith, back to back. “Sorry-”   
Keith spins, wraps both hands around Koku's middle and squeezes.   
“Keith-”   
Koku struggles a little, hair falling over his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you-”   
“Well you’ll have to if you want to go”   
Koku makes a noise in the back of his throat, going still for a moment as if to let Keith catch his breath. “I really don’t want to hurt you...”   
“Then don’t go”   
Koku sniffs. “And I stay and do what? Play domestic-bliss with you three?!” Koku’s voice raises to something not far of a scream and he writhes for just a moment before going limp. “It kills me, Keith”   
“Shouldn’t have fought so hard for it then” Keith mumbles, unsure what else to say because well, Koku did send the entire country into turmoil over one girl who he now doesn’t even want. Yeah, it’s annoying. It’s really annoying.   
“You’re pretty ungrateful for someone-”   
Koku pulls out his grip like it was nothing and it annoys Keith even more that the boy had humoured him with the idea of control. The windows almost blocked by the sudden wingspan covering it, Koku’s hair filters the dying light inbetween it. It’s angelic. Very pretty. Well done, Koku. Gold star.   
“Don’t call me ungrateful” He says softly. “I’ll break your arm in seven places”   
Keith raises his eyebrow.   
“Two” Koku amends. “And only because I like you”   
Keith huffs and sits down.   
“Jesus you’re so dramatic” He pinches his nose. “I’m going to ask you politely-” He stands and makes his way over. “To please not go and kill a bunch of men-” Koku’s narrow at the use of the word. “Innocent until proven guilty, Koku. You’re as bad as them if you slaughter them”   
Koku’s eyes flicker all over his face, as though he’s deciding between the many, hundreds of ways he could hurt Keith.   
Keith watches the realisation dawn on Koku that he can’t bring himself to do any one of them.   
Koku’s gaze softens, softens some more and then he stares at Keith with such a gentleness, such adoration.   
Keith doesn’t think it’s what he said that stopped Koku at all. 

They don’t go and see the sunset. They stay inside and sit in silence. Koku is brooding, petulant and childlike. With anyone else it would be awkward but Keith hates small talk almost as much as Koku hates him at the moment. A part of him wants to apologise for stopping Koku- stopping gives himself to much credit because if Koku had really wanted to go he would have gone- but another part of him wants to stay strong to his own principles and apologising for stopping a murder is against them all.   
“Lily texted” He says and it crackles through the silence as Koku stares at the stove. He doesn’t answer but he tilts his head a little.   
“Yuna is staying with her. She’s asking if you want to stay too”   
Koku runs his tongue along his teeth.   
“I’ll stay with you” he sighs  
“Well don’t sound too excited-” Keith mutters into his palm as he texts back.   
“Fuck off” Koku snarls.  
It’s weirdly the most mean they’ve ever been with each other and Keith stands with a scrape of the chair and leaves for bed. He’s sick of Koku. He’s sick of being so overwhelmingly attracted to such a selfish creature- he doesn’t even mean that because he knows deep down that Koku isn’t selfish, he’s just confused and probably deserves better. Confused, likely, about feeling the same things Keith is feeling and if Keith were a bigger man he’d help the boy through it but he can’t because- fuck- it’s nice to be wanted by someone other than a scheming serial killer   
“Do what you want” 

Those words. They make Koku’s skin crawl it makes him consider flying straight out that window but he honestly can’t bare the thought of letting Keith down.   
He sits at and stares until the sunsets and then he awkwardly gets up and heads to Keith’s room to apologise.   
He knocks softly and then lets himself in- he has a speech ready about how sorry he is and how he’ll control himself better but Keith is fast asleep and Koku doesn’t see much point saying it into the night.   
He sits on the bed and watches. Keith is so dramatically straightforward that it’s lovely but Koku’s bone deep fear of messing up around him is oddly perplexing. He’s never felt like that before with anyone.   
Before he knows it though he’s drifted off, head flopping against the pillow and fight leaving him as for the first time in his life he realises he was stopped from doing what he wanted. 

He wakes up gasping and trembling. His cheeks flushed and his heart beat racing. He’s rock hard, harder than he’s ever been. Woken up practically, almost on the verge of orgasm and the shock makes him dizzy.   
He’s never, ever been this desperate before and gods sake, it just has to be the only night he’s shared a bed with someone. He could get up, he really could. He could go to the toilet and sort this easily but the pillow smells so strongly of Keith- all numbers and stale coffee and he can just feel the heat of said man beside him. It’s a head rush. He’s so close, he could be caught at any moment but it’s probably the only chance he’ll get to be this close to him, to Keith, like this.   
He bites his lip and muffles his broken sob as he slides his hand into his boxers and takes himself in hand. It’s white hot pleasure, unlike anything he’s ever allowed himself to feel because before this, pleasure was a luxury he couldn’t afford. He’s sweating from his need to stay silent, his body is crying out for human contact, for someone else's hand, for him to moan openly or at least thrash a little. His need to stay silent does make him shudder and he realises vaguely that this isn’t enough, his desperate, tiny bucks into his fist are getting him no where regardless of how close he is. He almost screams with frustration, tears in the corners of his eyes because why on earth has this happened now of all-   
“Koku?”   
Into the darkness it sounds almost ominous.   
“You okay?”   
He doesn’t answer, he can’t, he’ll give himself away if he speaks but similarly the fact he’s shaking and gasping in Keith’s bed is pretty suspect.   
“Are you injured?”   
Shit. It does look like that too, curled up on his side with his hand against his stomach, back to Keith and practically sobbing.   
“K-Keith-”   
It’s so desperate. Keith sits up, leans over him.   
“You’re okay. What happened?” Keith thinks he went out, Keith thinks he killed those people. “You’re soaking with sweat- Gods- Koku, talk to me”   
He can’t though. He’s so heart-wrenchingly embarrassed but so utterly desperate.   
Keith’s hand slides down his back, follows his arm to where he’s clutchin-expecting probably to find some horrible wound.   
“Oh” He breathes.   
Koku whines. Keith’s hand is on his hand, closed around his cock. Hair falls into his eyes, tickling his nose and he throws his head back to move it. It bumps his head into Keith’s shoulder.   
In silence, utter silence, Keith moves Koku’s hand away.   
“Just once” he murmurs into the shell of Koku’s ear.   
“Just once” Koku returns, voice wafer thin and wrecked.   
Keith’s grip is firm and sure compared to his own and his arm wraps around Koku’s chest when Koku practically falls out of bed.   
“Easy, easy, I’ll take care of you”   
“I’m sorry-” Koku whispers, trembling and shaking, voice pleading and so clearly not talking about the situation.   
Keith puffs a laugh against his ear.   
“You’re forgiven”   
Keith nuzzles his neck, oddly affectionate and it makes Koku shudder. This goes deeper than lust, it’s obvious now, from the way Koku cranes for a kiss and Keith lays soft caresses on his arms. The need for intimacy that runs through them both is dangerously addictive.   
Koku cries out softly, thrashes wildly in Keith’s arms the closer he gets, until he’s spilling all over Keith’s hand.   
Keith is still for a moment.   
“Have you ever done this before? Even by yourself?”   
Koku drags in breath, desperate, frantic breaths.   
“Uh...” He thinks about lying, but Keith would know “No”   
Keith just chuckles a little cryptically and smiles.   
“It shows. Maybe you should stay at home and do this more than going out and violently murdering folk?”   
Koku laughs though he’s still trying to focus his vision and make his ear stop ringing.   
“Ha...Actually that’s a good deal” He murmurs, drowsy and sated.   
“I should have opened with that” Keith mutters but wraps both arms around Koku and holds him close anyway.   
“Next time maybe” Koku dares.   
Keith just rolls his eyes.   
“Next time”

**Author's Note:**

> Jesus i love these two.


End file.
